Day 3 (Tuesday)

Today we decided to head on over to Medano beach to play. The cab ride over was about $10, which I think we would later realize we were getting gypped. Immediately upon disembarking the taxi, we were approached by 2 different "activity" men. Jerry talked to one of them for a few minutes and got some rates for us to refer to. As we made our way down the beach, the hot sand scalded our feet so we walked closer to the water. We walked all the way to the end closer to the arch and settled on a more remote area by a hut selling drinks. We immediately hit up the margaritas, which were a tad bit disappointing because they were in styrofoam cups (instead of a huge glass) and they didn't taste very strong at all for $4 a pop. But I still really enjoyed the peach one that Tami got for me, thanks!

We were approached by our first cowboy hat vendor and a lot of mind-boggling wheeling and dealing, where he tried to rip us off for $20 per hat (wth!), we finally settled on $10 each for them. I know with maybe 5 to 6 more minutes of 'banter', I could've got him to agree to my $8/each but I felt it was starting to be a waste of my valuable beach time, and I wanted to start wearing my new blue cowboy hat! Tami and Tina had theirs done with neat little starfish-shaped ornaments on the front. I also bought a necklace, overpaying for it ($5) after some bargaining cause I was still a newb, but I really wanted a blue shell'ish one to go with my hat and trunks heh. Everyone played in the water for a little bit and eventually Tina and I got the tube-floaties and floated around in the ocean. We saw what seemed like a white chick get stung on her arm, as she started yelping and making her boyfriend carry her out to find some first-aid. We never did find out what really happened with her. We floated around for what must have seemed like an hour or so, while the other 3 couldn't take the heat anymore and eventually just sat under the hut.

We then decided to grab some lunch over at Mango Deck, which came recommended to us by one of the resort valet guys. We picked up our stuff and walked back over to the 'action' part of the beach. Initially we were seated in the part of the restaurant/bar with the wooden plank floors but after seeing some fun action being conducted by an MC, which included "bobbing for beers", we requested a table change and sat down on the sand, under a huge umbrella. No one could have anticipated the memories that were about to be made! After putting in our orders, the MC announced that they were going to have a "Macho Man" and "Bikini Contest". He started with the Macho Man contest and picked out two contestants whom didn't take much coaxing to go and take a seat by the small stage. Just my luck, and I'm sure mostly to my bright north carolina blue hat, he yelled over at the "cowboy" to take part. At first I tried to shrug it off and wave no thanks.. but the MC was very persuasive and I couldn't turn down the encouragements (hah) from the other 4 sitting at the table... so I finally gave in and made my way over to the seats. There were a total of 5 of us, but the only one I really remember was the tattooed chubby one next to me named Jimmy. After announcing our names and location, the first thing the MC made us do was to do a 'sombrero dance', which was dancing some flamingo style for 30 seconds around a sombrero on the floor, and then which would be followed up by taking a shot of tequila and doing a 'mexican' yell. There was a delay after the first guy went up and did his dance, cause they violated some noise law and the police were doing a routine check, so they sent us back to our tables for some 5 minutes. Our food had arrived already, chips and salsa (of course), and nachos.

They called us all back about 7 minutes later and I tried to duck away but it didn't work and lo and behold I found myself sitting in the line-up again. Eventually it got to me and I did my little dance around the sombrero, including in my little cowboy spur manuever that I never thought I would ever have to use in public haha. Followed that up with an attempt to do a mexican yell into the mic. After all the 'contestants' did their spiel, the MC did one of those audience cheer voting, which we all felt took way too long but eventually he picked Jimmy as a winner. Now I thought this was the end, but I was wrong... this was followed up by a lapdance to this woman that the MC picked out of the audience. At first he picked a pretty cute one and brought her on stage, but turned out she was the sister of one of the guys participating, so she got sent back. Instead, this other woman got picked, a white chick named Ashley from Hawaii, who had a little extra meat in the thighs and buns. I think I was the 3rd one to give her a dance. Instead of groping her like the other guys seemed to be doing, I tried to avoid having to touch her haha. I did a little leg showing, a little finger thing, switched hats with her, and tried doing some splits... absolutely ridiculous. When switching hats, I said to her "i apologize in advance for this" which she chuckled. Later on, Jerry would remark that my lapdance "left much to be desired" haha. phew.

Anyways, after the whole audience voting thing again, which took a lifetime, and even with Ashley remarking aloud "i vote for the cowboy!".. I still finished behind that same guy Jimmy. So all in all, I didn't win a bucket of beer for us! Went back to the table and my food was sitting there nice and cold but I wasn't that super hungry anymore. The tequila man came by and 'sold' us shots of don julio.. which he then topped off by popping out a hidden rubber johnson into our faces haha. We convinced Tami and Tina to take the shots too and their reactions to the rubber johnson were absolutely priceless. When they took a pic together with the tequila man, he busted out (as a joke) this jimmy hat that looked like it could fit the barrel of bam bam's bat haha. I think the shots ended up costing $10 each.

Another few minutes later and the MC announced the bikini contest. There was a blond girl from Kansas, a mexican girl, our friend Ashley from Hawaii and her tablemate, and with a little coaxing, the Chen sisters! The MC offered the job of the lap dance 'judge' for a mere 50 pesos, and he got this sleazy looking mid-40's looking guy from Las vegas. For another 50 pesos he also offered the job of water boy, to pour water over the girls. I actually tried to pony up for Mike to be the water boy, but he wouldn't do it. I took some vids while the girls did their routine. It was quite evident that the water was pretty cold by the squeals haha. Tina had hers to the Toxic track. The mexican girl had some interesting moves, such as taking the initial tequila shot from the guy's crotch and shook her behind a lot. After the biased audience voting, Tina moved on to the second round. I think in this round, the mexican girl actually climbed onto the guy's chair. Anyways, Tina should have won but in the end, the locals voted the mexican girl as a winner. The consolation prizes for the girls was a VIP bracelet for the Rum Jungle bar.

After eating, we sat on some lawn chairs in front of the Mango Deck where these 3 random lab dogs started chilling and digging a pit in front of jerry's chair. At one point, one dog left to walk around and another dog 'stole' his cooling pit haha. I bought two cubans, one romeo & julieta and a thinner one for Mike. I probably overpaid about $4 by buying them at the beach instead of that little shop yesterday, but it was worth the price of convenience. I was determined to find a necklace for Agnes, so I flagged down one of those bead women. Of course she started at $12, but I worked her down, 8-6-5 to finally $4, and I told her I wanted a certain purple bead design with pink hearts. While she was making it, I went to the restroom, where for the 2nd time that afternoon, that Ashley girl cooed "hey cowboy!" at me haha. Even more intriguing was while in the bathroom, a guy recognized me from earlier (of course due to the hat) and said "hey nice dance, I could tell you were from SF" and i said "oh yea?" and he replies "Yea.. by the way you were dancing". Very interesting comment.

We walked back up the dirt hill, looking for a taxi, and this time we were wiser and bought water at the corner market first. Tami bought me a soda, thanks! While standing there, we 'met' an activity agent named Rene, who's office was right next to the corner store. Jerry started talking to him about prices and Rene began offering better rates for activities, of course with our attendance of a timeshare meeting. Next thing I knew, I was standing outside watching the inner tubes and drinks while the rest of them were inside scheduling with Tami's credit card. While chilling outside, I sparked some convo with a local soda delivery guy, to get my spanish going heh. We found a $10 taxi to go back to our hotel. Tami bought some much needed "after-sun" lotion for all of us.. thanks! Apparently my sign for our maids worked, as the bed was left down with the sheets made. I got a inner tube tan along with my burnt back.. awesome. Mike and Tina had purchased wraps and Mike did a pretty funny pose with it on.

We rested a bit, ordered some room service (which included the first of my bacon-based turkey sandwich). We took a taxi down and got gypped by the taxi driver when he said he didn't have change for Jerry's $10, as it was only a $6 (still expensive) ride down about 3/4th of a mile. Jerry eventually relented and just said for the taxi driver to keep the rest as tip. We walked over to the rum jungle first, since that's where the girls had their VIP bracelets. Turned out it was just a small bar, but the girls were able to get some free tequila shots. After two more beers, I bought another round of don julio shots, nice. Everywhere has 2 for 1 beer specials it seems like. We walked into cabo wabo with a couple beers in hand. Unfortunately the security guard wouldn't let us in with them, so I pounded mine, and I think finished off 1 or 2 others heh.

Cabo Wabo was pretty cool and played some good music. However the crowd was too diverse in age for us with too many older folks in their 40's (probably hoping on catching a glimpse of sammy), so we walked on thru and into the Giggling Marlin, which was absolutely dead. We went back to the bar area outside of the Taco Loco and had some shots and a bar with zebra striped counters. Some of the assorted 'fun' drinks we had there included one aptly named "monkey semen". The bartender was hella cool and hooked up the girls with a couple free fruit flavored martinis. We then moseyed over to check out Squid Roe for the first time. Squid Roe played some nice hip-hop and Mike bought us some margaritas. During the night, I broke off both buttons from the back of my new shorts. My most fun memory of Squid Roe was seeing Jerry and Tina jump up onto the "Substitute Pimp" tower in the middle of the dance floor.

When we got back, I found a mini-sewing kit in the bathroom and spent 10 minutes sewing the buttons back onto the back of my shorts.. good as new! Root beer barrels count is at 34.

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HilaryOoooh Hilary.. Wish me home!